If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
