Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
