I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
