Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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