saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
