Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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