Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I did not marry a roomba.
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