My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
