I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
