i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
