This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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