I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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