Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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