I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
there is puke in my bra ... again
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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