quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
