U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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