i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
