Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
