Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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