and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
