one might say we're banned from that church
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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