People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
