Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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