Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
