My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
