One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize