Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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