My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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