I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
