I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
