Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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