There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
