...so i touched it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
