I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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