I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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