Don't you send me to vm
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
