I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
