Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
