Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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