there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
