There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
