That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
