And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
