Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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