I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We're using joints as your birthday candles
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
