a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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