i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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