i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize