Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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