I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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