People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Sorry my hands just texted you
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize