My Higher Power is John Stamos
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Boobs are out for the taking
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
