Your face is a jimmy john
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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