Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
