I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
