and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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