let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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