New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
