It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
