Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
