shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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