I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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